Reason #18

Why Everyone Should Have a Cat

Because you know what would go great with that carpet? A shitload of freshly-ripped-out dove feathers!

Driveshaft Installed

Armageddon averted.

You're welcome.

Reason #17

Why Everyone Should Have a Cat

My cat's favorite thing to drink is water, but not just any water, and definitely not the water in any sort of a pet dish. The best water is the drippy water left in the tub after you shower. The second-best water is the water in the glass you just set down, and the best way to obtain this water is not even by just sticking her head in the glass, oh no. The best way is to stick her foot in it and then lick the water off of her foot and then repeat.
She's a cat. You and I both know where that foot has been.

party like it's 1999.

Reader, you may not have realized the delicate balance in which all of our lives currently hang.  So let me enlighten you. If the sun does not rise tomorrow and our planet implodes into a little puff of dust, it's because Ryan. Was not able. To install his driveshaft. In time.

I know it's a lot to process, so go ahead and take a minute to let it sink in.

What? You don't think the world will end if he doesn't get his rock-crawler working?

Oh. Well, that's an interesting theory, too. I guess we'll just see who's right.

April

I have officially failed as any kind of blogger whatsoever. We had our first family-wide trip to Chuck E Cheese's almost a month ago, and I have not managed to get a post out of it. Even though all my kids got sick immediately afterward. Even though my mom (my mom!) came along, more or less voluntarily.
I'll say it again, readers, my mom accompanied us to Chuck E Cheese's.