party like it's 1999.

Reader, you may not have realized the delicate balance in which all of our lives currently hang.  So let me enlighten you. If the sun does not rise tomorrow and our planet implodes into a little puff of dust, it's because Ryan. Was not able. To install his driveshaft. In time.

I know it's a lot to process, so go ahead and take a minute to let it sink in.

What? You don't think the world will end if he doesn't get his rock-crawler working?

Oh. Well, that's an interesting theory, too. I guess we'll just see who's right.

April

I have officially failed as any kind of blogger whatsoever. We had our first family-wide trip to Chuck E Cheese's almost a month ago, and I have not managed to get a post out of it. Even though all my kids got sick immediately afterward. Even though my mom (my mom!) came along, more or less voluntarily.
I'll say it again, readers, my mom accompanied us to Chuck E Cheese's.

Kindergarten Lunch Duty

Mrs Murray, can you open this?
Mrs Murray, there's an orange on the floor!
Mrs Murray, Herman said booty!
Mrs Murray, Jose got ketchup on me!
Mrs Murray, can you open this?
Mrs Murray, when I was eating my apple slice it fell out of my hand and landed on the floor with the apple part down and now I think it has germs.
Mrs Murray, Maria said booty!
Mrs Murray, I spilled my applesauce and then I sat in it!
Mrs Murray, can you tie my shoe?
Mrs Murray, can you open this?
Mrs Murray, Kenyon is using language that is not appropriate for school.
Mrs Murray, Danny said hamburgers are stupid!
Mrs Murray, Isabelle is not supposed to be sitting there!
Mrs Murray, one time I had to get stitches on my wee-wee and then it hurt to pee!
Mrs Murray, Michael said wee-wee!

So I haven't conquered the world yet; I know my three readers are surprised to hear this.
I did clean out my linen closet, which is actually almost as exciting as world domination. I think that right there sums up what being thirtysomething is all about. That, and somebody I know texted my husband a picture of herself naked, and it made me giggle.

Today, a successful homemade cheese. Tomorrow...THE WORLD!!!!

still catching up

Well, the raw food cleanse is over, and the Girl Scout Cookie Whatever-the-Opposite-of-a-Cleanse is has begun. Crime and Punishment is over, and my mentor was so impressed with my analytical reading that I have Great Expectations and Jude the Obscure on my plate this month. Sigh.
My kids haven't mooned anyone lately (slow week), though Isaac got in trouble at daycare for throwing the legos in the fishtank. Birthday was awesome (and can I emphasize how much better 36 is than 26? Wow. Yay.), and I now have a cheese-making kit, which should lead to further entertaining blog posts soon. Right after I finish Great Expectations.

catching up

It has been brought to my attention by various relatives (the three of them that read this blog, and one who just discovered I have it) that I have been neglecting my blogging responsibilities. It's true, I have been falling short of even my very low twice-a-month standard. So, here's what's up with me. I am one day into a two-day raw food cleanse, which totally sucks and is making me cranky. For lunch, I had a smoothie with the texture of banana-flavored snot. I am about 300 pages into Crime and Punishment (actually similar in many ways to a raw food cleanse - plenty of fiber and unpleasantness in the name of virtuous sustenance), and I won't go so far as to say it totally sucks, but it is also making me cranky. The fact that I have two remaining days of winter break will be making me cranky as soon as I emerge from my back-to-school denial.

(so I started that two weeks ago, and am only just managing to get it posted. Maybe I should take up knitting. Or drinking.)