there was another holiday in there somewhere...

My Holiday Post Distress continues! And that's distress about holiday-themed blog posts, not post-holiday distress (or postal distress, or distress about a post), which is another thing entirely. This time, I've decided there's nothing to be done but dive in and admit, right here on the internet, that not only have I made New Year's resolutions, but I have made the most cliched New Year's resolutions possible for a female of my age group and demographic.
What, you don't believe me?
I'm taking up running. I, who make it a point to never run unless I am chasing one of my children, now own two pairs of running shoes, running tights, and funky-colored sports bras all in the interest of a sport I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to commit to. Understand that I'm dreaming loftily of being able to run a mile without dying.
If we're being really honest, readers, I'm hoping it will prove a viable alternative to my doctor putting me on crazy pills, but that's a topic for another post. In, like, ten years when this has all blown over. And I did say 'resolutions,' right? There's one more!
After thirty-six years of avoiding the inevitable, the inevitable has caught up with me, and I'm sort of taking a break from eating meat. Sort of. Except for fish sometimes, and the elk in my freezer, who at this point I would be doing no favors by not eating.

nerd heaven

OMG rediscovering The Westing Game with my fifth-graders. I love the crap out of that book. I'm totally trying to convince myself that I could pass it off as part of this month's reading homework, too...I'll let you know how that goes.
p.s. Not to rat anybody out, but my mentor admitted to not liking Passage to India either. And he's like a real writer and stuff.

Why I don't do this

See? Now I'm all stressed out about all the things I didn't include on my list at 11:47 last night. So stressed out that I'm stopping in the middle of cooking to come update. Like my Mom. Obviously I'm super-grateful for my mom. Possibly even more than my dog, though Daisy never forwards me articles on what kind of plastic I should not be using and where to keep my toothbrush so it doesn't get contaminated with E. Coli by people flushing with the lid up (news flash, Mom, I live with four boys. We've singlehandedly contaminated our entire block with E. Coli, and that's before lunch on a slow day.) And the rest of my family, who are awesome, and my in-laws, who are awesome, and I never really want to kill my kids and if I did I certainly shouldn't be posting about it on the interweb. And having a warm, safe home and a car that runs better when crusted with mud and goldfish crumbs than when not, and my dear, wonderful friends, and SEE? I've launched off into one of those Hallmark posts that I said I wasn't going to do. You'd probably be better off going to the last post and checking out the porcupine. This blog stuff is way too damn difficult.

Happy Thanksgiving. I'm going to go saute something.

Thanksgiving Eve

     Okay, it's Thanksgiving Eve. So far, I have resisted the endless Facebook posts about what I'm grateful for (one thing a day, presumably starting with hubs and kids), and while I was initially proud of myself for not falling down that rabbit hole, I'm now starting to feel like a Thanksgiving Scrooge. You know what that means...all four of you readers get to be my Gratitudinous Sounding Board. I hear you moaning and groaning about how you just survived a damn month of Facebook posts about all the Precious Moments crap that everybody else is grateful for - and now her, too? Yes, me too. You don't have to read it, Scrooge.
Meanwhile, for the three of you who didn't just open a new tab to search for YouTube videos like this one, here we go.

1. My dog. Everybody thinks they have the best dog, but in my case it's empirically true.
2. Having finished The Grapes of Wrath AND Passage to India, and never having to read them again.
3.The possibility of seeing both my sisters and their offspring this winter.
4. My kids. Except for when I want to kill them. No, even when I want to kill them. They are pretty awesome. And sometimes provide me with opportunities to practice patience and understanding.
5. My husband. See above.
6. Chocolate
7. That I have a coworker who is as grammatically anal-retentive as I am, so we can be pariahs together. A rare thing anywhere, but particularly so in elementary education.
8. Being able to call it a night.

Okay, that was kind of weak - but in my defense, it's later than I thought. If you are feeling rather let down or unfulfilled, you should totally check out the YouTube link above. It's a porcupine eating pumpkins, better than which it does not get.

pro tip

When you are going through a personal crisis, The Grapes of Wrath might not be the most productive reading material.

Reason #21

The native hummingbird population needs to be kept under control.

Reason #20

That nest of clean laundry is not going to build itself.